I recently sat in on an EQAFE recording where a being was discussing why lifetime after lifetime did they never change. Here is the description:
“Of all the times we have given up or decided that we weren’t able to change, how many of those were due to one key element that had been missing? How much more of ourselves and each other might we begin to realize when we discover the missing link between our intent to change and the actual change itself?”
The point that stood out for me most in this recording was the point of having an idea of what you want to do, be or become (like start a new habit or routine, develop discipline, complete a project or make something), but for some reason, never really taking a constructive step towards attaining or completing it.
I could very much relate to being in that position of being able to see SO CLEARLY in my mind what I wanted to create in terms of a long-term and consistent project, but I seemed to be struggling and falling with it time and time again. As this was/is happening, I would feel bad about it and get down on myself, judging myself just like I used to do when in school and being late on projects or when something wouldn’t turn out like I had imagined.
I would have backchat like “well, I guess that’s just the way I am… Kim: the undependable one.” And comparing myself to others that could get things done very well and efficiently, thinking there was some piece I was missing that made be unable to function like others. In the end, there was a piece missing, but it is not some personality flaw or default/defective part of me, but rather a learning process that had not yet been walked.
When I know exactly how to do something and then don’t do it, then it is more a point of procrastination and avoidance kicking in. But then there are the things I want to do and can see the end result, and that I am TRYING to do it, but find myself hitting up against perceived insurmountable obstacles and falling flat. And this is where I was given the missing piece from the being that spoke in the recording.
In these moments, when I would hit an obstacle, instead of seeing clearly what I would have to do next/going through the learning process to figure out what to do next, I would be distracted by the judgments which would make me feel the obstacle was even bigger that it actually was, and would make me seem even more unable to overcome it, and I would fall to the judgements, essentially manifesting them and making them real.
What the being shared was that, in these moments, the problem is actually that it is something that I had never done before, never developed the steps and in some cases, even the vocabulary to verbalize within myself how I could go about framing the problem in a way where I could see it properly! I would be in a kind of ‘blank’ state where I would feel lost and directionless, and then of course start feeling bad and down and low about it.
So, what I did was, I reached out for support. I sat down with several individuals in different moments and I explained what was going on, and where and why I was having difficulty. I received practical support in the form of some very simple instructions that hit me like “YES, of course! I can’t believe I didn’t see that!”
And it was that easy…. Well for now at least. Now I know how I can move forward and take a step, and I have made progress toward it, albeit shaky and uncertain, as it is always more challenging to know something than it is to do it, especially for the first time!
The recording is in two parts and can be downloaded here:
This post was originally written here: http://kimsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2018/07/the-secret-to-why-we-want-to-change-but.html