Recently I had been facing some conflict with a co-worker. Now this was not a face to face conflict, it was an internal war I was having against a colleague; reactions towards her for how she spoke, how she acted and how I ‘felt’ she was being around me. It was quite obvious there were issues within me towards her.
Then I heard an interview from Eqafe. It was an Atlantean interview, part of the comparison series. In this interview it was suggested to rather than going into reactions towards this person, to instead find similarities between the two of you. And in that, dare to be willing to engage in a conversation. After all, I knew my reactions towards this colleague were my responsibility, and didn’t actually have anything to do with her at all. Though what this interview offered was more practical suggestion as to how to go about changing my experience when working with her. And it was amazing to see how just from listening to that interview, this awareness was with me the next time I worked with her.
I considered being humble, and being the one to engage in a conversation with her. To ask her questions, even if I felt they were irrelevant. That was another aspect of the interview – it was to consider the only way one can form supportive and intimate and engaging relationships with people in this world is to start with the surface level stuff, as a point of bridging the gap. So that’s what I did, because that is what I remembered from the interview while working beside her – to stop my reaction and to stand equal and HEAR what she has to say. Get to know her, support in the development of a relationship that could perhaps be beneficial for both, rather than assuming to know who one is based purely on your own emotional reactions towards that person that is, let’s face it, usually irrational and a reflection of your own self
And what did I find? It was nice to stop the inner-war towards this co-worker and instead be the one willing to let go, breathe, and stand equal to this human being. We are the same. The reactions I had to her only indicated a part of myself that I was not clear towards, and that is my responsibility to sort out, not my co-workers.
So as always. the Eqafe Interviews support in offering REAL, practical suggestions to CHANGE in the moment. Of course there are considerations and things to look at as an understanding, but to have that awareness, as the words of the interview, with me in the moment where I would normally react towards her, instead I breathed and engaged in conversation. Real time change – that is what Eqafe is about and that is what I am supported to do in each and every single interview.